If I could I would, but the police say I can’t

I’ve got a beef. Well I have a number of beefs but we’ll try to keep to the immediate local things I see.

Smoking Over Your Child

One of the beefs at the top of my list is people who push a stroller or hold their baby and smoke at the same time. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I mean really, how do you not know any better than this? I don’t care if you’re 16 and a baby having a baby you know it’s bad to have second-hand smoke around anyone.


WHAT I WISH I COULD DO: Walk up, take your child and bitch slip you so hard the tar from all the smoking you did (probably while pregnant) comes rushing out your nose. And maybe throw a drop kick into the mix for good measure. This topic makes me so mad I’m tempted to drop the “C-word” but I keep reminding myself that I’m a lady…somewhat of a lady.

Loud Punks in Public

I was a teenager before and I certainly remember having friends or knew people like this. The people that talk really loud on the bus about all the coolers they drank last night and how smashed they got, or all the fights they got into. SHUT UP! I don’t care and no one else does either. Apparently there is no shame in being a dumb ass. (I should note that this also applies to loser adult punks as well – grow up and shut your trap).

WHAT I WISH I COULD DO: Grab them by their ear and drag them home to their momma. Although most of the punks I encounter probably have learned this from their parents so I’ll go back to the old faithful – a drop kick to the throat.


Parents Who Yell at Their Kids for No Reason (in public especially)

Stop being a douche parent. I’m a parent and yes it’s tough and I can lose my cool sometimes, but really? They are children - and children learn from you. I like a child that knows how to behave like a normal human being but kids are kids and they like to have fun. If I don’t see a problem in their behaviour (and I can spot a rotten apple a mile away) then I don’t understand why you’re being a trash parent and screaming at them in public.

WHAT I WISH I COULD DO: Follow them around and spray them with a water bottle every time they opened their yapper. If you want to bark like a dog, I would like to treat you like a dog (minus the adorable outfits I would totally dress my dog up in).

So these are a few of my beefs. I have a ridiculous amount of beefs and pet peeves but I thought I’d share a few of my top ones. Secondly, because I saw all three of these happen today before noon which in the words of Peter Griffin “really grinds my gears”.