Stretchy pants and the case of the missing giblets

Ah Thanksgiving. A time were people can over indulge and not be judged for it. Bringing out my good fat pants are a treat that I enjoy at three holidays - Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I usually slip into fat pants when I get home from work but they're not acceptable even to wear on my balcony. Hubby must be in love with with my personality that's for certain.

So like a good lady I decided to get a head start on my Thanksgiving dinner the night before. This meant cleaning out my bird and strategically placing it in my slow cooker so I could close the cover. The turkey usually has giblets which are always contained in a paper envelope inside like any respectable turkey. So at 10:30pm on Saturday I had my hand shoved down the neck hole of my turkey looking for these giblets. I searched and searched but couldn't find them. Clearly I was sold a turkey that was "special" seeing how it lacked the innards that I needed for my gravy and the fact it was missing a wing. I'm so glad that Pipster was in bed because if she saw the massacre in the kitchen she would have some hefty psychiatric bills in the future. Just as I was about to give up a gooey open sack of organs flopped out of the turkey's butt onto the counter. A Giblets VICTORY!

Although I found the giblets and dinner was a success I was thinking - I always find the giblets when I go in through the neck...that means...Oh my God...I think I sexually assaulted my turkey.

"My giblets bring all the boys to the yard"