What I'd do if I were a millionaire

I like to watch "How the Lotto Changed My Life". It makes me all warm and fuzzy when I see a group of sanitation workers win $200 million dollars. It makes me go "say what?" when one of them is like, "I think I'll keep working". Keep working? What are you talking about?


Of course I'd buy a home, maybe a dog, make sure my family is OK and set a few dollar bills aside for the Pipster to travel the world and go to college. That's my responsible list. My other list is way more fun.

1. Depending on how much I won, I'd buy one of the places I used to work at and fire my old boss then sell it back to the owner for a dollar.
2. Pay a huge Amazon butch to stuff bullies in a dumpster on a daily basis.
3. Make the world's most awful movie - I wonder what Katie Holmes would be up to then?
4. Kick Andrew "Douche" Clay in the junk then shake my fake nuts at him.
5. Pay Gordon Ramsey to yell obscenities at me and then have him make me dinner, because he's awesome and I'm hungry.

I'm rich bitch!!