What I'd do if I were a millionaire

I like to watch "How the Lotto Changed My Life". It makes me all warm and fuzzy when I see a group of sanitation workers win $200 million dollars. It makes me go "say what?" when one of them is like, "I think I'll keep working". Keep working? What are you talking about?


Of course I'd buy a home, maybe a dog, make sure my family is OK and set a few dollar bills aside for the Pipster to travel the world and go to college. That's my responsible list. My other list is way more fun.

1. Depending on how much I won, I'd buy one of the places I used to work at and fire my old boss then sell it back to the owner for a dollar.
2. Pay a huge Amazon butch to stuff bullies in a dumpster on a daily basis.
3. Make the world's most awful movie - I wonder what Katie Holmes would be up to then?
4. Kick Andrew "Douche" Clay in the junk then shake my fake nuts at him.
5. Pay Gordon Ramsey to yell obscenities at me and then have him make me dinner, because he's awesome and I'm hungry.

I'm rich bitch!!

Vacation, Hot tubs, Beer Wands & the Immunity Idol

Beer. Flies. NSLC. Driving. Cows. Foodland. Most awesome small town Cougar I ever saw. Bugs. Wizard Wands. Tape. Meat. Hot tubs. Beach. Some shit in the water. Hermit crab Fights.

Epic first night. A friend gave me a nice drinking game suggestion. We tape our full cans to our empties to create sticks we could drink out of. We were intending on using them to fight each other but unfortunately there wasn't any gladiator fights. The sticks looked impressive and we indeed made a memory that first night.

Manda proved to be victor but not before a sloppy ping pong game between me and Jay. As the winner of the beer stick challenge, she gets to be served by the rest of us the next night. We did made the gaudiest immunity idol I have ever saw but JEMS didn`t have a huge selection of..well...anything, let alone anything to construct an idol of any kind.

 

Day two has been so far a recovery relaxing day with delicious food (way too delicious) and good sunsets. Here's to a respectful evening where I don't wake up the next morning to find my bra hanging outside on a chair again.

So again more delicious food has been made and devoured by us like hungry rats. This third night of our stay we made stuffed hamburgers grilled on the good 'ol Broil King. These were absolutely scrumptious. I had to wimp out and save half of mine for later because of the sheer artery clogging agents that of course make it a delicious honkin' heap of meat. These will be made again.

Because we were all to lazy to actual walk or do any kind of physical movement we decided that a good old card came would suffice in the choosing of our next immunity winner. Skip-Bo was played and our new queen comes as Erico DeBambino for tomorrow night. He will be dethroning Greggers, the winner of day two.

We went and did some fancy eating at Al's Acadian Pub & Grill. We asked if they had any Acadian dishes and the waitress replied "Um...not really." So fish and chips it was. They were great and they even had the Kraft Tartar sauce that I love...in a tiny package .

Going to see if we get a winner for the immunity challenge. So far our third winner, Erico, has been a gracious queen. Way better than "Greggers the Wicked".

Erico DeBambino and Manda showing us how its done.
Such technique.

My Keith's induced coma has kicked in so I think I missed a couple of days. I remember hot tubs, food, beer and my 9 game winning streak in ping pong. I'm considering trying out for the Chinese team. I will be their foreign exchange secret weapon.

There has been a lot of animals coming around. There were some deer and an tasty adorable rabbit that was hanging around. But none was as awesome as the bat that would eat all of those stupid mosquitoes. We ended up naming him Batrick. We even tossed some moths up to him and he came out of nowhere and dove for them. Gross but wicked awesome at the same time.

Double rainbow the day before we left.

Its my last day and I'm glad to get home to Hubby and the Pipster but at the same time, wish I had a couple more days. We didn't get a lot of sun this week but it usually took me to about 3pm to get my arse in gear most days so really how much of it would I have seen?

Until next year Malagash. It's been a blast and hopefully you will forget about my indiscretions...because I'm trying to.

Vacation is my hot-n-saucy mistress

A well deserved vacation is in my future...like in 2 hours. Technically it started Friday at 4:30 with drinks at Durty Nelly's with my co-workers and then moved to Gregger's place for birthday drinks. I however did not see too much of the birthday festivities because that bagel I ate wasn't enough to keep me going all night. Fast forward 3 hours to Hubby shaking me (non-violently) so we could go home.

Erico DeBambino walking along the beach last year with Secret

So now I await my drive to pick me up in 2 hours so we can go on what has become our annual Fall vacation. Last year we spent a week at a cottage on the Northumberland Strait and had the most relaxing, comedic and intoxicating time. This year Manda will be joining myself, Greggers, Erico DeBambino, Jay and of course Secret the dog. Hubby gets to stay at home with the Pipster while I slip into a self induced Keith's coma.

Malagash here I come, so lock up your daughters...ah ya that phrase doesn't work for me.

Malagash here I come and I'm bring my gays, so lock up your antiques (and your adorable boys).

Punch me in the boob if I ever move again please

I'm serious, if I ever say "Hey we can move ourselves", do it...punch me square in the bazongas.

Hubby and I moved (with the assistance of my driver dad) by ourselves in 40 degree weather. It took us 10 freakin' hours and I have never sweat so much in my life. Hubby was shocked when he didn't have the chiseled body of a God the next day after all that lifting. I was shocked that I didn't die of heat exhaustion.

Later on a friend came to our rescue after he was done work and worked like a well oiled machine. Ahh to be in shape...I'm just too busy being fat.

What are these jerks smiling at? Moving sucks and unpacking sucks. The whole experience is poo in a handbag. I'll tell ya, I didn't smile once the whole day...for real.